Living a worthy life

2012-02-06T08:34:00.001-08:00

Mary found herself divorced at 76, when her 81-year-old husband went off with a neighbour. I think that would flatten most of us into a perpetual state of semi-consciousness beneath the duvet. After all, at that age a lot of people would assume that they'd had their last chance.

It did flatten Mary, of course, but not for ever. "I felt as if I was being consumed by all the negative emotions I was going through," she told me. "So I woke one morning with a decision filling my mind. I got up and cut about 25 small rectangles out of a piece of tissue paper. On each of these I wrote all the awful feelings – hurt, pain, betrayal, deceit, etc – and put them in a plastic bag. Out came my climbing boots and I headed off to walk the fells.

"The sun was shining, the sky a clear blue and a frisky wind was blowing. When I reached a good height, I stopped and, one by one, I held each piece of paper out in my hand and let it fly. I watched as each one lifted, fluttered, rose and flew. They blew out of my system and away. As I did it I thought, 'This is just stupid', but since then I have changed. I feel released and relieved.

"I followed this by blowing some of my very scant resources on an Arctic cruise. There, the space, silence, sea and, strangely, the lack of colour, brought solace to my soul. I came back from that trip determined to rebuild my life, and I have. I have been accepted as a film extra and I am travelling the country, meeting lots of new people and new challenges and thoroughly enjoying myself. New beginnings indeed!"

Mary's story is so uplifting that it's worth looking at what she did right, so that those of you still sunk under your own duvets can get some directions for the path out of your misery.

First: when something really bad happened to her, she didn't pretend that everything was fine. Instead of walking around like the emotional equivalent of a horror-movie zombie, taking her suppressed emotions out on everyone around her, she acknowledged that she was feeling terrible. She also had enough intelligence and detachment to analyse and name the feelings, thereby reducing some of their power over her.

Second: she wrote the feelings down. If I recommend one thing in my books, it is the power of writing things down. The act of writing down clarifies a situation, detaches you from it, reduces its hold over you and often shows you the beginnings of a way out.

Third: she had a pair of walking boots ready to put on. If everyone had a pair of walking boots, and used them, how much happier we would all be. For millennia, poets, scientists, politicians, peacemakers, soldiers and artists have walked their way out of trouble and into new solutions. In fact, there is a formula for problem-solving known as The Three Bs – "Bed, Bus and Bath". These are supposed to be the places where people loosen their minds enough for new connections to be formed and new thoughts to float in. I would add a fourth – "Boots". When in doubt, get out of the house and walk, and I promise you that your thinking will change and lift.

Fourth: Mary performed a ritual. Ritual can emphasise intent. She created a symbol of what was troubling her – her pile of paper emotions – and she handed them over to something huge and elemental: the wind. The wind took them, and absolved and released her. Some of you who write to me suggest that your particular religious beliefs are the answer to all problems, but you don't have to subscribe to a religion to experience the power of harnessing something bigger than yourself, such as nature or art, as a partner in your life. The state of despair and stuck-ness is a solitary and isolated one. Ritual can take you out of it by reconnecting you with the flow of the world.

Fifth: Mary took a huge risk and expanded her horizons dramatically. She removed herself from her familiar surroundings and discovered a whole new world in the Arctic. She and I both want you to know that this can be enormously liberating. Even a day away in an unfamiliar place can shift your idea of yourself and your world. Mary chose Greenland. Somewhere, there is a place that will work for you – but even more important than the place is the act of going.

Sixth: she took another risk. She doesn't say so, but in applying to be a film extra, she was brave enough to risk rejection, which is extremely scary. But her bravery was rewarded. She wasn't rejected. She stepped into a new and exciting life at an age when too many people assume that it's all over.

Seventh: please note that she changed her life in small steps, one at a time. This always works. If you, reading this, feel that you need to make a change in your life – and who doesn't? – I would add that there is always something you can do now. I am a great believer in the magic of 20 minutes. Focusing on something for 20 minutes is enough to take a step that makes a difference. It's up to you to choose your step.

2012-02-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm about a month into my sabbatical from the worship ministry in church. Have to say, that I'm already missing it. Through this month, i've prayed and asked the sovereign God to give me rest. To break me, re-mould me and shape me into a child of His.

God is sovereign, and he knows everything that is going on in my life. He provided rest when I desired it, humility when I required it, and strength when I demanded for it.

I miss the days where I had to drag myself off bed early in the mornings on sundays. Although those were the days that really drained me off my energy, the days where I was the most tired, somehow at the end of the day, God provides sufficient strength for me to continue.

Well, this further proves that God is in control my life.

He is the GREAT I AM.

COURAGEOUS:

2012-01-28T11:46:00.000-08:00

Caught this movie late at night. Brought me back to the foot of the cross; completely and utterly reminded of God's sovereign love for us. The trust and the belief in mankind, the very people He created. The willingness to place the weight of His love upon our shoulders so that we will be able to feel and experience His love.

O Lord, I want to set an example for my friends and my family. I don't want to settle for the "good enough" I want to settle for Your will. That is all that is enough..

As for me and my household, WE WILL serve the Lord.

J.T Lye

2012-01-25T10:30:00.001-08:00

Without partings, how would there be happy reunions?
Without death, how would we ever treasure the ones we love?

2012-01-23T02:13:00.003-08:00

TRUST

2012-01-21T05:24:00.000-08:00

Whenever I cook a meal for my family, I end up being extremely tired. Just dwelling on a new thought today:

“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”

I wish I could trust and have some believe in you. And it's getting more and more difficult as the days go by. But i'll keep faith in our friendship, as I have faith in God to work. But is it better to be cheated than not to trust..? mmhmm, that's tough.

2012-01-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

I have to prove to myself from today onwards, that i'm not worthless. With every inch of my soul, I will pursue and I will run the race..

I will wake up in the morning and say.. I Believe..

2012-01-12T07:03:00.000-08:00

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Do not expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart. But if it does not, be content that it grew in yours.

Blew me away..

2012-01-11T08:38:00.001-08:00

Looking Ahead

2012-01-11T08:05:00.001-08:00

It's time I move on with life. Not deleting the past, but starting afresh again.

I've come to a point of my life where my future starts to come into great importance. But the more I start to think about it, the more I get anxious and worried and the more it leads me back to the cross.

So often we say God is the author, perfecter and finisher of our faith. But he's so much more than that, he's not only the finisher of our faith; He finishes EVERYTHING.

It's hard placing the future unto one that is unseen, but God says the route of being a child of His is never easy. The route of trust, believe and more importantly perseverance takes us on a journey that is not only ultimately rewarding, but thoroughly satisfying. The pilgrimage Christ is one worth dying for, and one worth pursuing.

All these are heartfelt beliefs I truly believe, but I definitely find it harder to act it out.

In the year 2012:

I hope to excel and to remain at the foot of Jesus. First and foremost to have a deeper knowledge and understanding of who He is and than to grow in His unending love.

To wrap my arms around the new cell and walk with them on their pilgrimage with Christ. Not working for their salvation, but being a leader, one that can encourage and spur them unto Christ-likeness.

To place my future entirely into His one and perfect will. Be it in my school life, family life and relationships with other people. To trust that He will provide friends, and if it is in His will, a partner (: [Yes, I need to be loved! But don't worry, i'm leaning on God's will for this one!]

To a great year Ahead!